It's that time of year folks, break out those stockings and christmas carol books and spend some time with your loved ones this christmastime, and who's more loved than those 2 loveable stoners, Harold and Kumar, who decided to take you along on their wintery hijinks this year.
A Very Harold And Kumar 3D Christmas takes place roughly 6 years after the duo's Guantanamo Bay adventure and my how things have changed since then, Kumar is about the same, still living in the same apartment (albeit with a new roomate) and still smoking pot at every opportunity. Harold on the other hand has transformed himself into a successful (non-high) businessman with a wife, who's trying to start a family.
Upon receiving a mysterious package adressed to Harold, despite Kumar and him not exchanging any sort of communication since Harold moved out 2 years prior, he decides to drop the package off at his new place on his way to a party his new roomate Adrian is attending so he can take the virginity of a girl he's been chatting up on the internet. Once they arrive at Harold's, Kumar drops the package on the front step and starts to leave, Harold however spots him and invites him in where he opens the package and in the box contains a huge joint. Kumar lights it and then Harold throws it out the window because they don't smoke in the house, but wind blows it back in and it burns down the christmas tree that Harold's wife, Maria's father (played by the always frightening and imposing Danny Trejo) brought all the way from Mexico because he grew it, and he loves christmas so everything must be perfect.
Harold insists on handling the tree situation himself and calls his new friend Todd to help him out, Todd reserves the last tree in the state, and everything seems to be fine until Kumar drives past the tree farm and sees the tree that was reserved and offers triple for the tree, so he can give it to his buddy Harold. Unfortunetly that gets wrecked too after they crash and the tree kinda blows up. Have no fear however as this is a Harold and Kumar movie afterall, there is adventure to be had. So they end up making it to the party where Adrian's internet girlfriend, Mary, turns out to be the daughter of a mobster, and a very angry mobster at that when he walks in while Mary is trying to get Harold undressed.
So of course now they must find a tree, all the while being chased by a russion mobster and his lackeys. Have no fear, they have friends to help them, Rosenberg, Goldstein and of course NPH all make appearances and do whatever they can to help their buddies.
Now full disclosure here, I did not see this movie in 3D, in fact I don't watch any movies in 3D anymore because I feel that fad has ran it's course, I'm pretty sure Resident Evil 4 was the last movie I had seen in 3D. However while watching the film you can tell there isn't much to be offered by the 3D, in fact it seems they make fun of 3D movies more than anything, so really what you're paying extra for is to see how ridiculous it is to pay an extra $3.00 for the 3D experience.
While we're being honest here, I wasn't a huge fan of the first 2 movies in the franchise. I thought the first one was good for what it was a random stoner comedy, good for a watch every couple years or so. The second one I didn't enjoy at all, it was what all the other stoner comedies were but on a lower level. This one, I'm not sure if it's the christmas spirit, but I think this was the best one of the 3. I felt like in this one we see a softer side to both characters, Kumar struggling with the loss of his best friend and the break-up/pregnancy of Vanessa and Harold trying to balance family life and a social life, all the while keeping everything safe. It's because of this that the whole movie seems a little more, dare I say, "deeper."
It's been a few years since we've been graced with a good christmas movie, so unless you hate puppies and unicorns, you really have no reason not to see this movie. Oh and while we're on the subject of Christmas I've decided you can all pitch in and get me a waffle bot. Thanks in advance. - Conscious
I've finally found time to dust those DVD's off that have been sitting on the shelf for a couple weeks, I opted to start off with a little bit of Canadian grindhouse cinema...
Hobo With A Shotgun came to be after Robert Rodriguez and SXSW started a contest to make a "fake" Grindhouse movie trailer and they would make a legit movie out of the best one, similar to the "fake" Machete trailer at the beginning of Tarantino and Rodriguez Grindhouse double bill project that became a Hollywood film. In the end this trailer was enough to get a movie made after being crowned the winner of the contest.
The premise for this film is simple, you see there is this hobo (played by Rutger Hauer) and he gets a hold of this shotgun... Okay I suppose it's a little more complex than that, but barely so. The hobo arrives in town and notices it's occupied by pimps, prostitutes, coke addicted bum fight entrepreneurs and Santa Claus impersinating child molesters. This doesn't sit well with our homeless hero and after window shopping for a lawnmower (so he can start a grass cutting company to make something of himself, of course) he witness's 3 robbers try to strong arm rob the store by threatning beautiful and innocent shoppers, thus forcing the hobo to act, with a vengeance, grabbing a shotgun and shooting the 3 robbers.
No one really cares too much about the death of the robbers, however latter on that night when he saves a prostitute (who claims to be a teacher) from a dirty cop who was trying to get a bj by using force and not paying.the nightwalker for her services. So safe to say the hobo feels it necessary to introduce him to his shotgun, and I can assure you together they had a blast. So after saving the girl, they begin an unlikely friendship together. Someone however is not a fan of the hobo and his friend and that's Drake, the clean cut evil crime boss that runs the town along with his 2 sons, Slick and Ivan. Drake makes it his business to have the hobo brought down offering up rewards of cash, coke and girls for his head.
After all is said and done, Hobo With A Shotgun is a rather fun romp through Scum City. It's espescially fun if you're a Canadian, everywhere you look, you see a Candian icon; even Strombo shows his face! Being a grindhouse movie however if you aren't a fan of gore and buckets and buckets and even more buckets of blood this movie might not be for you. As far as the story goes, well I've touched on this already, it's not terribly smart, but it doesn't have to be. The title of the film is a joke, which tells you, the viewer, to not look too far into this.
It's a gleeful, gory mess of a movie, and providing you don't have a weak stomach, you should be able to enjoy this film, as far as Grindhouse fare goes this is on the upside of them, if not near the top. However as far as exploitation thrillers (they are not the same thing FYI!) this is middle of the pack, so if this sounds like your type of movie fare then by all means do yourself a favour and watch it. If you're on the fence, watch it anyway so at least you can make an opinion one way or the otherand when you do, let me know, I love hearing your thoughts.
This one is a little late coming but I’ve been swamped with college, work, blogging, drinking, and obvious new playthroughs. So here it is Resistance 3.
So as many of you will know the Resistance series has been around since the beginning of time, well since the PS3 was released at least. From the start we were immersed in the heroic story of a lone American soldier fighting alone against a horde of alien mutants hell bent of terraforming the earth and converting all its populace. I won’t bore you with the details but the first two games were really quite something, Resistance Fall of Man (1) was renowned in my home for being the first choice for split screen play on my new system, in fact I think I racked up enough hours in that game to contest my time on Modern Warfare. The second resistance game took the franchise a little further, bringing back the protagonist Nathan Hale, but this time he is part of an elite team of Chimera virus immunes like Hale, called the Sentinels. Resistance 2 took us across the United States on a crash course for trouble all the while Hale’s condition worsened and the team were slowly killed off, until at the very end of the game (SPOILER ALERT) Hale finally loses his humanity and is put down execution style by his last remaining teammate Joseph Capelli. Now Joe is the last person I thought would end up starring in their own game as he was a complete douche throughout the campaign, but being the only one still alive I guess Insomniac didn’t have that many options.
Anywho Joe Capelli, having slowed the chimera invasion and killed
humanities savior attempts to live a normal live after the events of the second
game. He settles down, gets married, has a kid, and lives in a small town
called Haven. The game starts up with us in the tunnels under the ruins of
Haven, we are called to a makeshift war room were battle plans are being drawn,
see a Chimeran patrol has stumbled onto their little home and Joe is sent
(after picking up his starter weapons) to check it out and reinforce the
garrison. So we sneak through the tunnels and eventually up into the old
bowling alley, from there someone’s head gets ripped off and shit gets real,
after that things get a little hazy. Something about some new breed of chimera
with new and improved weak spots, glowing yellow for your shooting pleasure and
a terraforming floating island ship thingy heading towards the town. Anywho dr.
Malikov from the first two games shows up and crashes the alien burning party
taking Joe away from his family and on a reckless hike across the country to
New York city where a large chimeran tower is apparently opening a wormhole to
the Chimeran home world…
That’s more than enough story to keep us going, the plot is a little
thicker than I portray it but overall I was pleased with how they bridged the
series, although I was kind of depressed after Malikov gets killed in a very
brutal fashion. Speaking of brutal this game seems to add a bit more gore to
it, attempting to spice things up with a little blood, and a few exploding
skulls. Also the character they chose to replace him is a little lack luster
and disappears halfway through the game only to be heard from again in hidden
journals and audio diaries. Yes like all games the resistance series has always
had collectables, being mostly dossiers on weapons and characters, audio
diaries kept by survivors living their last moments, and the odd hidden easter
egg. Although if you are the type of
person who cares not for exploring the levels for these hidden gems, they
really don’t do much for the story and aren’t required for any missions, they
just enhance the story and provide you with a little more information in case
you are the inquisitive type who can’t take the time to read the wiki or the
books.
So, gameplay, I was happy they brought back the health bar, although
there is still a red screen when you get hurt. Like all games there are
directional properties to the raspberry jam that spreads across your screen,
and most of the time the direction that it displays isn’t where the enemies are
and more than once I found myself turning away and exposing myself to a fanged
monstrosity sitting just outside my vision laughing at the whimsical control
settings. Speaking of settings I was perturbed by the motion blur at high
sensitivity levels, and even though I had the X and Y levels set to the highest
possible speed I was still turning like an asthmatic green horn. That being
said the controls are intuitive, and comfortingly common, mimicking that of
most modern shooters. Also making a comeback is the weapon carry system of the
first game, where every weapon you pick up stays with you throughout the game
so you will always be prepared for any situation. The second game annoyed most
old school players by allowing you a certain amount of space in your
character’s pack to carry weapons, and the first game although allowing you to
carry them all included so many weapons you barely had time to try them out
before something new and useless came along. But I digress the weapon system is
back and that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and its not just the whiskey.
Weapons, it’s a good topic for this series, throughout the first two
games there were more weapons than I could hope to remember but here there a
few classic guns with maybe five or so new ones, that really the franchise
could’ve done without. New to the game is the ammo counting system, a series of
bars at the bottom of the screen decreasing in size until you can no longer
fire your weapon, I was impressed by the addition of ammo counters inside many
of the games scopes, being mostly the sniper and auger, but also the addition
of a sort of holographic sight with many of the weapons that always had a sort
of lack luster iron sight. Also new to single player is the ability to earn XP
with weapons and unlock upgrades based on your experience, this adds a whole
new level of gameplay, encouraging you to move past your normal weapon set and
try the new guns, also if you’re a trophy whore like myself you’ll need to get
your entire inventory to level three to see that shiny award.
So game mechanics and such, overall impressed besides the aforementioned
motion blur/sensitivity problem, although in a couple cases the game did glitch
up and I’m not entirely sure why. The graphics are as much as I could ask for,
nothing new but a little prettier in place. Particle physics don’t really come
into play here as the game seems almost devoid of weather or other
distractions. Low points I noticed would definitely be the ladder climbing
animations, very clunky and often hindered by having to wait for a certain old
man to work his way up one level. Also decreasing the reading level of this
game is the addition of the over used critical location system that seems so
important these days. No longer do we just pour bullets and laser fire into an
enemy we can barely see the top of, no now there are armor plates that glow
orange and yellow that tell you where to shoot. Chock that up as the dumbing
down of mainstream video games.
The game itself is very linear, but not to the point of being a dungeon
crawler, you have no options as to where to go until later in the game when you
may have an option of going into a tunnel or being the target of multiple
snipers and a dropship armed to the exhaust ports. The objectives are usually
very simple but can get frustrating if you don’t pay attention to every vent
and power conduit you pass. Other annoyances include the exception of a mini
map and objective markers, half the time I played I spent walking around
looking for a marker on my screen telling me which giant robot I had to kill to
progress the storyline.
The multiplayer is a step up from the first’s death match and on par
with the campaign style of the second. But its split screen where the game
loses some points, the second player is dubbed “John” Joe’s brother that has no
dialogue and isn’t mentioned in the story at all. Both players have the same
weapons being as how as soon as one picks it up the other magically finds it in
his hands, also if you are the lone wolf type good luck finding your own path
as you will be teleported to your wandering companions location as soon as the
game decides it wants to shit on you.
Long time followers of the franchise will be happy with the inclusion of
classic enemies and guns, but may also feel let down by the dumbing down of the
gameplay and exclusion of what seemed like franchise defining weapons,
mechanics, and characters. Overall this game was good, with split screen
capabilities and a multiplayer to rival that of the second game. Those just
picking up a Resistance game for the first time will quickly be brought up to
scratch and have no trouble, as the game plays like many other FPS’ of today.
That being said the game is nothing special, simply another squeeze on the
udders of Insomniac’s cash cow. But damn that milk is tasty.
